不要把你的目標(biāo)告訴別人
Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal. For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it. Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay? Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it. Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do. Imagine their congratulations and their high image of you. Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud? Don't you feel one step closer already, like it's already becoming part of your identity?
請(qǐng)大家想想 你們最大的人生目標(biāo)。 實(shí)際的人生目標(biāo)。你得想一會(huì)兒。你有感覺知道你的目標(biāo)。 花幾秒鐘想想人生最大的目標(biāo)，好么? 想象一下，立馬做出決定 你將要做的事情。 想象一下，告訴你今天遇到的人你將要做什么 想象他們的祝賀 和你在他們眼中的英偉形象。 大聲說出來是不是十分爽? 你是不是覺得更進(jìn)一步了 貌似這已經(jīng)成為你自己的一部分?
Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut, because that good feeling now will make you less likely to do it. Repeated psychology tests have proven that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen. Any time you have a goal, there are some steps that need to be done, some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it. Ideally, you would not be satisfied until you had actually done the work. But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality." The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done. And then, because you felt that satisfaction, you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary. So this goes against the conventional wisdom that we should tell our friends our goals, right -- so they hold us to it.
嗯，壞消息：你最好閉嘴， 因?yàn)槟愕淖晕腋杏X良好， 在現(xiàn)實(shí)中反而使你不太容易實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)。 許多心理測(cè)試已證明 告訴別人你的目標(biāo) 反而使目標(biāo)不能實(shí)現(xiàn)。 任何時(shí)候在你有個(gè)目標(biāo)時(shí)， 你得按計(jì)劃做些工作 來實(shí)現(xiàn)這個(gè)目標(biāo)。 理想狀況下，除非你實(shí)際地做些工作，你才會(huì)滿足， 但是當(dāng)你告訴別人你的目標(biāo)，大家也承認(rèn)你的目標(biāo)， 心理學(xué)家發(fā)現(xiàn)，這被稱為一種社會(huì)現(xiàn)實(shí)。 思維定勢(shì)讓你有種感覺到你的目標(biāo)已經(jīng)達(dá)到。 然后，因?yàn)槟愀械綕M足感， 你不那么積極地做 實(shí)際需要的艱苦工作。 這觀點(diǎn)和傳統(tǒng)觀點(diǎn)背道而馳， 我們應(yīng)該告訴我們朋友們關(guān)于我們的目標(biāo)嗎，對(duì)嗎? 他們鼓勵(lì)我們實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)，對(duì)。
So, let's look at the proof. 1926, Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology, called this "substitution." 1933, Vera Mahler found, when it was acknowledged by others, it felt real in the mind. 1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this and in 2009, he did some new tests that were published.
我們來看看這個(gè)證明。 1926年，社會(huì)心理學(xué)的.創(chuàng)始人庫爾特·勒溫 稱這個(gè)為“替代”。 1933年，偉拉馬勒發(fā)現(xiàn) 當(dāng)你的目標(biāo)被別人承認(rèn)，在你腦子里就好比這已經(jīng)實(shí)現(xiàn)了。 1982年，皮特哥爾維策爾關(guān)于此寫了一本書， 在2009年， 他公布了一些新的實(shí)驗(yàn)證明。
It goes like this: 163 people across four separate tests -- everyone wrote down their personal goal. Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room, and half didn't. Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work that would directly lead them towards their goal, but they were told that they could stop at any time. Now, those who kept their mouths shut worked the entire 45 minutes, on average, and when asked afterwards, said that they felt that they had a long way to go still to achieve their goal. But those who had announced it quit after only 33 minutes, on average, and when asked afterwards, said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.
比如這個(gè)： 163個(gè)人進(jìn)行4組不同測(cè)試-- 每個(gè)人寫下他們各自的目標(biāo)， 然后一半實(shí)驗(yàn)的人在房間里宣布他們的目標(biāo)承諾， 另一半人保守目標(biāo)。 接下來每個(gè)人有45分鐘來工作， 他們可以努力工作直至實(shí)現(xiàn)他們的目標(biāo)， 但他們?cè)谌魏螘r(shí)候也可以停下來工作。 那些不泄漏目標(biāo)的人 平均工作了整整45分鐘， 在這之后的訪問， 他們感到他們?yōu)榱藢?shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)還有很長(zhǎng)的一段路要走。 但是那些宣布目標(biāo)的人們 平均工作大約33分鐘后就放棄了， 當(dāng)被問及時(shí)， 他們感到快要接近目標(biāo)了。
So, if this is true, what can we do? Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal. You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgement brings, and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing. But if you do need to talk about something, you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction, such as, "I really want to run this marathon, so I need to train five times a week and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"
所以如果這是事實(shí)， 我們會(huì)怎樣做? 好吧，大家可以抵制住 宣布目標(biāo)的誘惑。 大家可以延遲這種 社交承認(rèn)帶來的滿足。 大家明白腦子會(huì)把 說的當(dāng)成做的來替代。 但是如果你的確要談?wù)撘恍┠繕?biāo)， 你說到這些目標(biāo)時(shí) 不帶有任何滿足感， 例如，“我的確想要跑馬拉松， 所以我需要每周訓(xùn)練5次， 如果我做不到，就踢我的屁股吧?”
So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal, what will you say? Exactly, well done.
所以觀眾們，下一次當(dāng)你試圖告訴別人你的目標(biāo)時(shí)， 你會(huì)說什么? 完全正確，做對(duì)了。(對(duì)你的目標(biāo)緘默，閉住嘴。保守秘密。)
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