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An Extra Ten Minutes
On Monday afternoons at two o’ clock, Beau and I would arrive at the Silver Spring Convalescent1 Center on Milwaukee’ s northeast side of town for an hour of pet therapy with the seniors who lived there. We’ d walk the hall-ways greeting everyone on our way to the hospitality room, where residents would come to pet Beau and bask in2 the adoration3 of this beautiful, happy, ten-year-old, ninety-nine-pound Doberman4 pinscher.You’ d never know this was the same dog that arrived at my doorstep eight years earlier so beaten, scarred and scared5 that as soon as he made eye contact with you, he’ d lie down on his back with his feet up in the air and pee6 until you petted and soothed him into feeling safe.On our first visit, as we walked through the canary7-yellow Hallway One, I heard an elderly man’ s excited voice, thick with a German accent, streaming8 out of room 112. “ Ma, Ma, the German dog is here! The German dog is here!”
No sooner did I hear the voice than a wrinkle-faced,six-foot? tall,white-haired pogo stick9 of a man was greeting us at the door, swooping10 his big, open hand and strong arm across the doorway, inviting us in. “ I’ m Charlie. This is my wife,Emma.Come in, come in.”
When Beau heard Charlie’ s friendly, enthusiastic voice, his entire body went into his customary wagging frenzy11 and lean?
Against-your-thigh position, waiting for a petting, which was immediately forthcoming12 from Charlie. As we walked into the room, a frail but lively eightyish, violet-haired Emma sat in bed, smiling, patting her hand on the bed. All she had to do was pat once, and Beau, leashed13 and always obedient14, was up on the bed lying down beside her, licking her face. Her eyes teared up as Charlie told us that he and Emma had immigrated to the United States from Germany during World War II and had to leave their beloved Doberman, Max,behind. Max, according to Charlie, was the spitting image15 of Beau.
The next door, room 114,was home to Katherine, a woman in her seventies who had stopped talking for a few months earlier and had been living in a catatonic16 state in her wheelchair for the past month. No amount of love, hugs, talking or sitting had been able to stir her.When Beau and I walked into her room, a small light was on next to her bed and the shades were pulled. She was sitting in her wheelchair, her back toward us, slouched17 over, facing the viewless window.
Beau was pulling ahead of me with his leash. Before I could get around to kneel down in front of her, he was at her left side, with his head in her lap. I pulled a chair up in front of her and sat down, saying hello. No response. In the fifteen minutes that Beau and I sat with Katherine, she never said a word and never moved. Surprising as that may be, more surprising was that Beau never moved either. He stood the entire fifteen minutes, his long chin resting on her lap.
If you knew Beau, you#39;d know that even ten seconds was an eternity18 to wait for a petting. Not here. He was as frozen as Katherine, head glued to her lap. I became so uncomfortable with the lack of life in this woman that, much as I wished I felt differently, when the clock chimed19 2： 30 P.M., I rushed to say good-bye, stood up and pulled the reluctant Beau out.
I asked one of the nurses why Katherine was catatonic. “ We don#39;t know why. Sometimes it just happens when elderly people have family who show no interest in them. We just try to make her as comfortable as possible.”
All the wonderful people and animals who blessed my life flashed in front of my eyes, and then they were gone.I felt what I imagined Katherine must be feeling:lonely,lost and forgotten.I was determined to find a way through to her.
Every Monday thereafter, Beau and I made our rounds20 to the hospitality room, stopping to make special visits in room 112 to visit Charlie and Emma, and in room 114 to sit with Katherine. Always the same response--Charlie waving us in and Emma patting the bed, waiting for Beau#39;s licks, both so alive. And then on to Katherine, sitting desolately21, no sign of life except for her shallow22 breathing.
Each visit I attempted to engage Katherine in conversation. No response. I grew more and more frustrated with Katherine, not content with just “ being” with her. Yet here was Beau, meditative23 dog-monk, teaching me how to “ be” and love quietly, assuming24 “ the position” for the fifteen minutes we sat at each visit.
On our fourth visit, I was ready to bypass Katherine#39;s room, but Beau had other plans. He pulled me into Katherine#39;s room and took his familiar pose on her left side,head on lap. I acquiesced25, but since I had a business meeting later in the afternoon with which I was preoccupied, I decided to cut short26 our usual fifteen minutes with Katherine to five. Instead of talking, I remained quiet, focusing inwardly27 on my upcoming meeting. Surely she#39;d never notice or care. As I stood up to walk out and began to pull Beau away, he wouldn#39;t budge28.
And then the most miraculous thing happened. Katherine#39;s hand went up to the top of Beau#39;s head and rested there. No other movement, just her hand. Instead of Beau#39;s customary response of nose nuzzling29 and increased body wagging, he continued to stand like a statue, never moving from his spot.
I sat back down in silent shock, and for the next ten precious minutes, reveled in the stream of life flowing between Katherine#39;s hand and Beau#39;s head. As the clock chimed half? past two, marking the end of our fifteen minutes, Katherine#39;s hand gently slid30 back into her lap, and Beau turned to walk out the door.
It#39;s been ten years since that visit and eight years since Beau died in my arms from a stroke. Love has many ways of showing its face. Each time I am ready to walk away from a person on whom I#39;ve given up, I am reminded of the power of Beau#39;s loving persistence with Katherine and with me. If Beau can give an extra ten minutes, surely I can too.
再待10分鐘
每星期一下午兩點(diǎn)鐘，我和博要去密爾沃基東北方向的銀泉康復(fù)中心，為住在那里的老年人進(jìn)行一小時(shí)寵物治療。我們穿經(jīng)過道來(lái)到接待室，一路上和每個(gè)人打招呼。在接待室，休養(yǎng)的人來(lái)?yè)崦两趯?duì)這只漂亮幸福、10歲大、99磅重的德國(guó)種短毛獵犬的愛慕中。你們?cè)趺匆蚕氩坏剑?年前就是這只狗被打得遍體鱗傷，出現(xiàn)在我家門階上，嚇得一見人就仰臥著，翹起腿撒尿，直到人們摸摸它，輕聲細(xì)語(yǔ)地安慰它，它才感到安全。
我們初次訪問康復(fù)中心，經(jīng)過淡黃色的1號(hào)走廊時(shí)，我聽到從112號(hào)房間傳出一位老人帶有濃厚德國(guó)口音的激動(dòng)的聲音。“瑪，瑪，那德國(guó)狗來(lái)了!那德國(guó)狗來(lái)了!”
話音未落，一位滿臉皺紋、6英尺高、白發(fā)瘦長(zhǎng)的老人出現(xiàn)在門口歡迎我們，在門道他張開有力的臂膀，伸出大手，請(qǐng)我們進(jìn)去�！拔医胁槔�，這是我妻子，�，敗＿M(jìn)來(lái)，進(jìn)來(lái)。”
博聽見查利友好、熱情的聲音，它的身子立刻激動(dòng)地習(xí)慣性地晃個(gè)不停，擺出要貼靠你大腿的姿勢(shì)，等著人們?nèi)崦２槔r(shí)滿足了它的'愿望。我們進(jìn)了屋，看見80多歲、紫色頭發(fā)的�，斪诖采希萑醯錆M活力；她面帶微笑，用手拍著床。她只需拍一下，拴著皮帶、向來(lái)順從的博就會(huì)跳上床，躺在她旁邊，舔她的臉。第二次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，他們倆從德國(guó)移民來(lái)美國(guó)時(shí)，不得不把心愛的德國(guó)種短毛獵犬馬克斯留在德國(guó)。查利對(duì)我們說(shuō)這話的時(shí)候，�，�?shù)难壑袧M含淚水。據(jù)查利說(shuō)，博長(zhǎng)得簡(jiǎn)直和馬克斯一模一樣。
隔壁114號(hào)房間住的是70多歲的凱瑟琳。幾個(gè)月以前她就開始不跟人說(shuō)話了，近一個(gè)月坐在輪椅上，一直處于緊張性精神分裂狀態(tài)。對(duì)她的任何關(guān)心、摟抱、談心或坐著陪伴都打動(dòng)不了她。我和博走進(jìn)她的房間時(shí)，床邊的小燈亮著，遮陽(yáng)窗簾拉著，她背朝著我們，低頭垂肩坐在輪椅上，對(duì)著看不到任何景色的窗子。
博套著皮帶拽著我走在前面。我還沒有來(lái)得及蹲在凱瑟琳身前，博已站在她的左側(cè)，頭擱在她膝上。我拖過來(lái)一把椅子，坐在她跟前，向她問好。她沒有反應(yīng)。在我和博坐在那兒的15分鐘里，她一言不發(fā)，紋絲未動(dòng)。這已經(jīng)令人感到意外，可更使我吃驚的是博也一動(dòng)不動(dòng)。它站了整整一刻鐘，長(zhǎng)下巴擱在她膝上。
你要是了解博，就會(huì)知道期待著愛撫的它哪怕10秒鐘也像了無(wú)盡頭。可這回不是這樣。它跟凱瑟琳一樣僵在那兒，頭粘在她膝上。與這個(gè)沒有生氣的女人在一起，我覺得很不舒服，希望這種尷尬場(chǎng)面快點(diǎn)結(jié)束。兩點(diǎn)半到了，鐘一報(bào)時(shí)，我匆忙說(shuō)聲“再見”，站起身來(lái)，拉著不愿意離開的博走了出去。
我問一個(gè)護(hù)士為什么凱瑟琳會(huì)得了緊張性精神分裂癥。“我們不知道原因。有時(shí)候老年人的家人嫌棄他們時(shí)，他們會(huì)一下子得這種病。我們只能盡力使她感到舒適�！�
我眼前中閃現(xiàn)著所有使我生活幸福的好人和奇妙的動(dòng)物，他們一閃而過。我能感受到凱瑟琳現(xiàn)在的心情：孤單、煩亂絕望、被人遺忘。我決心尋找通往她心靈深處的途徑。
自那以后，每個(gè)星期一我和博照例去接待室外，還專門探視112號(hào)的查利和�，�，去114號(hào)房間陪凱瑟琳坐著。每次情況都一樣——查利揮手請(qǐng)我們進(jìn)屋，�，斢檬峙呐拇驳却┤ヌ蛩瑑蓚�(gè)人總是那么高興。然后去凱瑟琳屋，她垂頭喪氣地坐著，除了淺弱的呼吸聲外，沒有一點(diǎn)生機(jī)。
每一次我都試著讓凱瑟琳聊天，可她始終沒有反應(yīng)。我越來(lái)越覺得沮喪，不滿足于只是跟她待在一起�？墒沁�有博，每次探訪，這只狗“和尚”就擺出姿勢(shì)“坐禪”一刻鐘，教我如何“陪”凱瑟琳及表示無(wú)聲的愛。
第四次去康復(fù)中心，我準(zhǔn)備繞過凱瑟琳的房間，可是博另有想法。它拽著我進(jìn)了凱瑟琳屋，跟前幾次一樣，在她左邊待著，頭擱在她膝上。我默許了，可是我心里想著當(dāng)天下午晚些時(shí)候的商務(wù)會(huì)談，因此我決定把陪凱瑟琳的時(shí)間從往常的15分鐘縮短到5分鐘。我沒開腔，只是靜靜地坐著，思想集中在即將開始的會(huì)談上。凱瑟琳肯定不會(huì)注意我們提前結(jié)束，也不會(huì)介意�？墒俏移鹕硪Р┳叩臅r(shí)候，它卻動(dòng)也不動(dòng)。
然后最不可思議的事發(fā)生了。凱瑟琳的手抬到博的頭頂就放在那兒了。沒有別的動(dòng)作，就是她的手。博既沒像平常那樣用鼻子蹭，也沒有越來(lái)越使勁地晃動(dòng)身子，仍然紋絲不動(dòng)，像塑像似地站在那兒。
我暗自驚訝，又坐了下來(lái)。隨后的10分鐘我感受著凱瑟琳的手和博的頭之間那種生命之源的流淌。時(shí)鐘敲響兩點(diǎn)半，說(shuō)明我們的15分鐘到了，此時(shí)凱瑟琳的手慢慢滑落到膝上，博轉(zhuǎn)身走出房間。
那次探訪已經(jīng)過去10年，8年前博因中風(fēng)死在我懷里。愛有多種表現(xiàn)形式。每一次當(dāng)我想要從我已對(duì)其絕望的人的身旁走開時(shí)，我就想起博對(duì)凱瑟琳和對(duì)我那始終如一的愛的力量。如果博能耐心再待10分鐘，那么我也能。